Gratituesday

september 5th 2001 i started planning my suicide. i had been depressed for months and i felt i couldn't take it anymore. i was living with my parents and going to community college. there were so many logistics i wanted to work out for the sake of my parents, but really i was being selfish by giving up. i just couldn't imagine anything changing, ever.

less than a week later the twin towers fell and the reality of other people's loss snapped something in my mind back into place. i decided that i wanted to get help and i began seeing a counselor. we talked about everything and she encouraged me to make changes, one of which was a transfer to a christian college away from home the next semester.

all of a sudden it is ten years later and i am happily married, with 2 beautiful girls, and a life that i love.

today i am grateful for God's restoration. my heart has been restored. the Lord refills my spirit and gave me the strength to move forward. the Lord placed people in my life to bless and encourage me and guide me to this place.

it was not instantaneous. i know that it very well could have been instant, if my faith had allowed HIM to act with the power and speed He possesses. i am a slow learner. it took many many tries and infinite amounts of God's grace and forgiveness; and believe me i will continue to need grace and forgiveness until my last day on earth.

so, today i am blown away by and grateful for the effort God has put into giving me "life... to the full" (john 10:10).

Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!