doubt

allow me a moment to process this situation.

when i think of Minnesota i think of mosquitoes and catching walleye &  northern pike. i think of hiking gooseberry falls and jumping off of cliffs into lakes formed in deep rock quarries. i think of Bible camp and the relationship with God that can bloom there. i think of a church where we could make a difference. i think of snow forts, skiing, shoveling, & snowball fights. i think of days on the beach watching people surf in wetsuits in July because the water is still that cold. i think of hunting turkeys with my husband while our kids enjoy a weekend at their grandparents' house. i think of fire in the fireplace, taking a road trip to see the fall colors change, eagles & moose, and the wolves on Isle Royale. i think of starting my career. i think of wilderness and hard work and weekends spent with my in-laws.

when i think of Missouri i think of 100 degree summers; winters with no snow where i'm surrounded by the ugly brown of dormancy and mud. i think of how sick i feel when i get overheated. i think of my mother's surprise visits and her boyfriend. i think of running into people from high school every time i go to target. i think of my church and how love it and wish i had found it 5 years ago. i think of my house and my yard and how much i love them. i think of being near to my grandparents and how much i love them. i think of how nasty the lakes are around here and how i would never swim in them.

i have no idea if my ideas of Minnesota are what it will be like to live there. i know i could make life in Missouri more fun and tolerable. i could make my church into a home and build relationships with wonderful people who want to be more of what God wants for them.

i don't know what to do. i'm confused and unsettled and so is my husband. but this is what i do know:

"And my God will meet all of your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You." Isaiah 26:3

"If you remain in Me and My Words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given you." John 15:7

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything - by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving - present your requests to God. and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

so we'll keep praying and studying and moving forward toward Peace.